Nice Cookies

I have two cats. They both like attention, but while one of them is cool about it and will just sit in my lap or sleep on my bed, the other one is annoying as all hell. From the moment he sees me to the moment I leave, he’s stuck to my ankle (to the point that he’ll follow every single step I take), or jumping on the counter and climbing on my shoulder, or (and this one really kills me) fidgeting in my lap and nuzzling and biting my arm nonstop. It’s so irritating that it’s gotten to the point where I get angry when I look at him, because he always gives me this "don’t you like me?" look.

It’s not even like I’m depriving him of attention; I spent an hour last night petting him while I was watching TV, and then I set him down and stood up to go get a drink. I got about five steps before he jumped up on my back and tore my shirt in the process. I knocked him about eight feet across the room after I got him detached from my spine. I swear I’m going to kill him one day at this rate.

It’s a simple rule: sit down, purr if you feel like it, appreciate it if I pet you or just enjoy the body heat if I don’t pet you. Be glad for the attention I can spare. He doesn’t understand and I have no idea how to get it across to him. My other cat didn’t need to get smacked even once; he just gets it.

Any ideas?
stop hitting your cat, you tiny-dicked retard. your cat wants attention, its not the end of the world.
As previously stated, I do pay attention to him. The issue is that he never stops wanting attention, and then if I walk away from him, he does shit that he has to know makes me angry. Tearing at furniture? Yowling for a half hour straight? Jumping on me with claws out? Come on. That’s just unacceptable. I can’t sit him down and explain to him why it’s not cool, so I have to speak his language. Look at how cats treat each other; when they get pissed, they knock each other around. It’s not abnormal to establish boundaries by force, I’m not doing it to feel powerful, and I sure as hell didn’t spend $800 on twin Siamese brothers so I could dropkick them for shits and giggles. Now get the fuck out of my thread, I’m asking for help, not flames.

- - -

With that settled, has anyone else dealt with this problem more successfully than I have? I really can’t just put up with having him on me constantly, I have shit to get done in the evening, and I don’t want him to hate me. So basically I have to come up with some way to make him be more self-sufficient; he can already go outside whenever he pleases, and he’s demonstrated a decent ability to catch and kill prey, so I don’t know what else I can do.

EDIT: Pic of kitties included for reference; the annoying one is on the right, but his head is on the left.

EDIT: Kitten pics added because they’re just the cutest goddamn photos ever.

i’ll be interested to hear if you find anything that works. my experience with cats is that they have their personalities and you either learn to live with it or you suffer.
Mine is the same way. Last night, I played with him for an hour, I went into my office for 5 minutes, came out, and he had chewed through the wire on my 360 headset. I wanted to stab the little fucker. But I just sat down and played with him some more. Then afterwards, he decided to continuously attack my feet.

My only hope is that as he gets older, he’ll settle down. People have told me that after I have his balls lopped off, he’ll calm down a lot.

I don’t care what anyone says, playing rough isn’t wrong with a cat. In fact, Mao seems to like it when I throw him around a little. As long as he doesn’t get hurt, I don’t see anything wrong with it.

My older cat LOVES to play fight with me.

I’ll be on my bed watching tv and he will come up and want to play.

I’ll toss him around smack him a bit and he loves it.

He will run off the bed and try to sneak up on me and attack me

When we are done he lays next to me and watches tv with me
They chill out as they get older.

Water bottles or water guns are a great for getting cats to stop doing any undesirable activity. They hate water.
Interesting development.

My father’s lady-friend came to visit for the week, and the cat is totally calm now. He just curls up in her lap and sleeps for hours, and when he spends time with me he doesn’t do any of the annoying shit he normally does. She’s an elementary school teacher, and she talks to the cat like he’s one of her fourth-graders. He’s off the counters, he doesn’t chew on people, and he doesn’t fidget constantly.

Estrogen deficiency? Go figure.
Interesting. My cat’s a little bitch sometimes when I’m not around, and likes to sit on my lap instead of my boyfriend’s. Sometimes cats just need crazy cat ladies I guess.
Our male cat calmed down a lot after being neutered. Also, I agree about the water bottle/gun. If I catch our cats doing something bad (clawing furniture), I squirt them with a water bottle and they immediately stop and run away.
never smack a cat…they don’t understand that. If you want them off the counters shake a soda can with coins in it.

There’s tons of reasons it might do this. Ignore him when you want him to leave you alone and if he bites you, yell "OUCH" and stop touching him/paying attention to him.

Cats can be trained…but it takes a LONG time. Eventually he’ll realize that you don’t like it and stop.

thecatsite.com is a great site for cats.
My cats aren’t bothered by noise, interestingly enough. The thing about pulling away after he does something I don’t like works pretty well, though. I’ve just about got him to where he’ll grab my left arm for a headrest and curl up in my lap, but he still tries to nibble on me sometimes.

Though, right now he’s been outside for days (except for snacks) because the rabbits have finally thawed out, and he’s got the chance to use the hunting skills he’s been practicing on gift bows all winter.
Ah. He finally came in at 4am last night. I hadn’t seen him in a day and a half; I was beginning to think one of the local hawks got him, because between him and his brother, he’s not the "tough guy". In fact, he almost never goes outside by himself.

I guess the rabbits were just too tasty to leave alone.

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